The greatest advice I was ever given regarding listening was the mirror technique. A way to listen and reflect back to the person what you hear. It is so important to just hear what people say and acknowledge that you hear them, without responding, or judging or filtering. I wish this active listening was taught in schools, it would go so far to eliminate hurt and fighting and so many conflicts.
The technique says that if you are having a conversation that instead of immediately responding with your own thoughts, you should reply by re-stating what the other person has just told you. For instance "okay, what I am hearing is that you are frustrated at me because you feel I do not do my share of the housework" or "I hear that you are frustrated in your job because you feel your instructions are vague and you are not given enough support from the rest of the staff". Then after the reflective statement, you can go on to say how you feel.
It is also important to use phrases like "i feel", "in my opinion', "from my perspective". This eliminates accusatory or judgemental statements that have to be defended by the other person.
The other best manners rule is just to treat people the way we would like to be treated. It is simple, yet very overlooked. Thanks for giving attention to an area that is very lacking in education today. Good Luck
